Invisible: The Diary of Eileen Dunbar
by Kila9Nishika
Summary: Eileen is thrilled to discover that she's a witch! Now she has an escape from the orphanage. But, as it turns out, she's a misfit in the Wizarding World as well. But then, there is Luna Lovegood, and Harry Potter...
1. School Year: 1992 to 1993

**Disclaimer:** As I am a simple person who does not own tons and tons of money, I must admit to being a plain American girl, and not JK Rowling. Therefore, I do not own Harry Potter and the connected involved characters. Oh, well...

**Canon until post-Ootp. Then my imagination takes over.**

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****In some of her practice essays, the italics become italicized bold. This is meant to be crossed out, but I can't get to allow crossed out words****

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**September 1, 1992**

My name is Eileen Dunbar, and I am eleven years old, today. It is odd, writing in a diary, but I have never had a friend before, and I thought, when I went to Diagon Alley, that a diary would be a perfect way to spill all of my fears and horrors without actually making friends with anyone.

As I am writing this, I am on the Hogwarts Express – the train that will take me to my new school, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Until a couple of weeks ago, I never believed in magic. I believed in facts, and science. Magic was fantasy, and fantasy is something that simply is a manifestation of nonexistence.

But then, in late August, a stern woman with auburn-grey hair came to the orphanage, and told me that I had been elected to go to the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

I didn't believe her.

Then, this woman, this _Deputy Headmistress Professor McGonagall_, broke all of the laws of science and turned my tissue box into a tortoise. Honestly. After that, it was like a whirlwind, off to a dingy place called _The Leaky Cauldron_ and into Diagon Alley.

Diagon Alley, it seems, is like a Wizarding Mall, but about two hundred years out of date. I mean, honestly – cobblestone? Custom clothing with tape measures? GOLD COINS? What is this, the eighteenth century?

I got all of my supplies, along with extra books and Potions supplies aside from those on my list, and made myself a small vault from converted money transferred from money earned in the muggle world doing menial labor. I sure hope that Hogwarts lives up to expectations.

The actual Platform, Platform Nine and Three Quarters, is hidden behind the pillar between Platforms Nine and Ten. When I got through, I was stunned. Was it ever crowded!

After getting myself and my trunk onto the train, I found a nice compartment and took you out, diary. There is another girl writing in a diary that I saw while I was going to the loo; her name is something Weasley. Apparently, if a pureblooded witch or wizard has red hair, they're probably a Weasley. I don't have red hair.

I also caught a glimpse of a girl with bushy brown hair; she came through asking if I had seen a boy with black hair and glasses, with green eyes. I hadn't.

Hold on while I change into my robes.

…ooo000O000ooo…

Right then. It feels odd, wearing robes. I plaited my hair while I was at it, and put on my lucky necklace. It's made out of paper clips and painted wooden beads. I xxxxxxxxx Never mind.

The girl with bushy hair just came in again, and asked if I saw the boy with black hair again. I still didn't. I feel bad; is her friend missing? She should use a Locator Charm; it's in the _**Standard Book of Spells, Grade 6**_, by Miranda Goshawk.

The train just stopped. I'll continue writing after the Sorting.

**September 1, 1992**

Well. What an interesting evening.

After we got out of the train, the first years, including me, all followed this really huge man named Hagrid. He's got a big black beard that covers almost his entire face, and I think that he might be part giant. Not that it really matters.

After walking a bit, we got into these boats that rowed themselves. I sat in a boat with this girl with straggly blonde hair named Luna, a boy named Colin, and another girl named Solstice.

Luna kept chattering about some flying machine she saw while on the train. She didn't seem to listen when I told her that cars don't fly.

Colin was all excited about hopefully meeting Harry Potter. Considering the way the boy was going on and on, I feel bad for Harry Potter. Talk about a terrible fan.

Solstice didn't talk much at all, except for mentioning that her parents had never let her outside before. I believe it. She looked paler than a ghost.

Speaking of ghosts, I saw a whole bunch of them! Apparently, it is quite common in the Wizarding World. Personally, I think that what people call ghosts are merely psychological imprints on the physical world of those who have passed on. Science.

The first of the kids I met to be Sorted was Colin. As it turns out, all one must do is sit under this singing hat. Imaginatively, it is called the Sorting Hat. Bleh.

Colin, whose last name is Creevey, was Sorted into Gryffindor, the House of the bold, courageous, and rash. His eyes got really big when he realized that he was in the same House as Harry Potter.

Next of us was Luna Lovegood. For some reason, she walked backwards to the stool with the Hat. She was Sorted into Ravenclaw, House of those who seek wisdom, but often are distant from reality.

Last was Solstice. Her name is Solstice Malfoy, and she was Sorted into Slytherin. She had very little applause, aside from the Slytherins, House of the sly and ambitious.

And me? I was Sorted in-between Colin and Luna, into Hufflepuff. I asked the Hat to put me somewhere that I would be overlooked, and it stopped trying to decide between Ravenclaw and Slytherin and put me in Hufflepuff. Thank goodness.

After some weird speeches, food, and weird speeches, we were told to follow the prefects of our Houses to our common rooms. A boy named Michael Jeffries, and his sister Hannah, guided us to the common room, which is near the kitchens, apparently.

I share a dorm with three other girls. The first is Elisa Brown, cousin of some girl in Gryffindor. She's really pretty, and doesn't seem to notice my existence. The second is Rosaline Greengrass. Her older sister is in Slytherin, and her younger sister is coming to Hogwarts next year. She's already friends with Elisa. The last is Marvella Chittock. She is the "queen" of the dorm, it seems, already. She has a dark sort of beauty, I guess, and is very proud of who her mother's great-grandmother was. I'll have to look up the name Adalia Black.

I am looking forward to Potions, as well as Charms, but don't really know what to expect for the rest. Now, I am going to finish the Sixth Year History of Magic book, and get some sleep.

**September 13, 1992**

The first week of school was… interesting.

I have officially decided that my favorite class is Charms. I just hope we get to practical work at some point this millennium! Wait…

Scratch that, my favorite class is History of Magic, because it is practically a free period. I can practice whatever magic I want, and nobody will notice.

I love the ideas behind Transfiguration, but it's very difficult. Oh, well, at least I'm ahead of the class.

I have decided – I love Potions, and I _**hate**_ Potions Class. Really. Potions are absolutely fascinating, and I think that I would _love_ to know more about them. On the downside, though, everyone else in the class seems to be idiots – oh, and they're afraid of Professor Snape. Which is stupid. I mean, yes he's harsh, but it's because Potions is a really dangerous class. The previous Potions professor, Slugworm or something, had seven fatalities in the thirty-five years he taught. That's one every five years! Going on that, Professor Snape should have had at least two fatalities already. He's had zero. Really, I think it's like a record or something.

Herbology… as much as I love our Head of House, Professor Sprout, it's kind of dull. Then again, I've always been terrible with plants. So long as I don't actually _do_ anything, it's a dull class. When I _do_… well, as my partner Sarah Fawcett learned, it gets exciting. For instance, I was about to hand in my first essay, when the Creeping Snickering Vine ate it. Oh… the plant ate my homework. Merlin, I didn't realize how funny that was until I wrote it down.

Astronomy… is incredibly awful. I hate it. Not only am I always falling asleep, but the only star I can remember with any clarity is Sirius, the Dog Star.

As for Defense? Well, I'm certain that, with a proper teacher, it would be a great deal of fun. But Lockhart?

All of the girls seem to think that he's rather handsome. I think that he looks a great deal like Robert Jones, the owner of the orphanage, and he . Never mind about him. But, I think that Lockhart's a pushover and a fraud. I mean, everyone knows that there's no cure for Lycanthropy, right? And yet, he claims to have done so! Not to mention that fact that the werewolf supposedly transformed in _broad daylight_, this is, again, impossible.

I just hope that Lockhart's nothing like Robert Jones.

**September 17, 1992**

Today was our first flying lesson. What a disappointment.

After hearing every boy, and not a few of the girls, chattering on and on about flying, I was somewhat looking forward to it.

I fell off. Not once, not twice, but every single time I sat on the stupid broom! Apparently, I don't have a firm enough grip and I move too sharply. Humph. I'd prefer to walk, thank you very much. Or Portkey. Or Floo. Or Apparate, hopefully, someday. Or even ride a damn THESTRAL! (They're really nice. I've already seen them three times.)

Merlin, I hope that I'll never be in a position where I _need_ to use a broom in any other capacity than cleaning, because I am quite obviously incapable.

I got kicked out of the library today, but it _wasn't my fault_. Some older girl hit me over the head with her bag when I took the last copy of _Hogwarts, a History_. I got my copy second-hand, and it's missing pages 4487-4532. Frustratingly enough, those pages are part of an intriguing essay about the architecture of the school and the grounds, and the various spells and wards involved in the school. And I only got to read two words of it before it went from pages 4486 to 4487! So, I took it out of the library, and some older girl got mad at me. Wonder why?

Blargh. I'm going to be sick. I just realized that I haven't done my Defense homework. Or should I say, "Defense?" It's not like we're actually learning anything. The current assignment is:

"Reread chapters five through seven in _Voyages with Vampires_, and write at least two feet on the best ways to fight with a vampire without mussing one's hair, the reason that the second-most-handsome person in the world is probably a vampire, (first-most-handsome being yours truly,) and the easiest way to dress oneself to blend with vampires of all types whist wearing velvet and silk."

Really, isn't it sickening? What should I do to begin…? Hope you don't mind, I'm going to use this extra paper to help me being my essay.

_Vampires are well known for being extremely handsome, and blending with them would be extremely difficult unless you have managed to make yourself look enthralling. _**_Unfortunately, vampires can see through dopey glamours like yours, Lopehead, so_**

_Vampires are well known for being extremely handsome, and blending with them would be extremely difficult unless you have managed to make yourself look enthralling. __Unfortunately, vampires can see through glamours **that enhance one's frankly, rather poor looks, so**_

_Vampires are well known for being extremely handsome, and blending with them would be extremely difficult unless you have managed to make yourself look enthralling. Unfortunately, vampires can see through glamours that enhance one's looks, so using magic to look more vampiric is _not_ recommended, _**_despite what _Voyages with Vampires _might say. Really, Lockheart, for being such a great fantasy writer, you really are an idiot._**

_Vampires are well known for being extremely handsome, and blending with them would be extremely difficult unless you have managed to make yourself look enthralling. Unfortunately, vampires can see through glamours that enhance one's looks, so using magic to look more vampiric is _not_ recommended. In fact, using muggle facial enhancements such as makeup and surgery are better because they cannot be seen through magically__. **In fact, why don't you use plastic surgery and become a clown, because**_

I give up. Maybe I'll just get a detention.

**September 18, 1992**

I got detention. Yippee. Once a week with Filch, and once a week with Lopehead – I mean Lockhart, of course. I had the detention with Filch earlier this evening. It was just cleaning. Really, if all detentions are like this, I'll skip out on Lopehead's essays more often.

I got 99% on my essay about the uses of dried belladonna versus freshly picked. I got one point off for not being straightforward about the fatalities involved in misused belladonna. Well, actually, Professor Snape said it was for "_being a duffer and writing in a soft and babyish manner_," but I realized it when I went over the returned essay.

I finally turned my needle back into a match. Oh well, most of the class hasn't even managed the match-into-needle, so I'm alright.

**September 23, 1992**

I had my first detention with Lopehead. It was stupid. Just writing addresses on envelopes. But why do my legs hurt?

**September 30, 1992**

Second Lopehead detention. Filch is better. Feel too tired to write, and my head is all fuzzy. Perhaps I'm sick. My back hurts, and so do my legs. My wrists are burning weirdly, and it feels familiar…

**October 7, 1992**

Why can't I remember what detention with Lopehead was earlier? My back hurts, my head hurts, my throat hurts, my legs ache, my wrists are burning, and my lower stomach feels – no. Nononononononono. No way, please no. I figured, I think, I –

**October 13, 1992**

I collapsed, and a Ravenclaw Second-Year boy named Terry took me to the Hospital Wing. According to Madam Pomfrey, I had a fever, but it is rarely seen in children under fifteen, and I think that I know why. She wouldn't tell me, but I feel odd. Why do I suddenly fear going to detention, when all Lopehead has been doing is making me address letters?

I wish I could reread my previous entries, but I haven't been able to figure out what I did with the instruction manual for this dumb diary.

**October 14, 1992**

Last Lopehead detention, then one more with Filch. Filch... isn't so bad. I think. But Lopehead makes me nervous.

No luck in Transfiguration anymore. String into stick. I'm hopeless, and even worse, I'm _behind_! I'm going to fail Transfiguration.

On the up and up though:

Charms class seems to be moving along pretty well! We're just doing basic color changes, red to pink to orange to red, but air puffs are next, and after that, by Halloween we're going to be Levitating!

Potions class is comfortable. I'm partnered with Solstice Malfoy, and we do a moderately good job, getting grades in the low 90s, which is pretty good. I just hope I keep doing so well.

And, the classes that I am crying over besides Transfiguration include:

Flying, which is a crash. Literally. I have yet to even stay on my broom. I am currently the Hufflepuff House laughingstock.

Herbology. I have yet to manage to get anything past _any_ plants that physically move. I have orders to give in my homework from the castle, by owl. Isn't that _wonderful?_ I'll probably fail that as well.

So. I'm failing three out of six classes, and going downhill on a fourth. Woe is me. I think I shall go find the kitchens and get some chocolate.

**Later**

I got some chocolate. The house elves are **vrery**-no, very cute. Am tired. Going to sleep now.

**October 17, 1992**

I wish I wasn't a balance-challenged idiot who can't change anything into anything. Because I saw the Ravenclaw team practicing Quidditch, and they were gorgeous.

Solstice and I have been partnered up in Potions class to do a project – build the ideal place for a Ten-Toed-Tirlhump to live for its pickled skin to have the most result. Solstice showed me a picture of a Ten-Toed-Tirlhump after she found out that I'd never seen one. She was horrified that I hadn't.

Actually, Solstice gets horrified about a lot of things. She's kind of prissy, but she's the only person in the entire school who treats me like I'm human. My whole year thinks I'm a failure because I _still_ can't hold on to a broomstick for my life.

Two days ago was a gold-sticker day, though. Some blonde Ravenclaw said hello to me. She actually smiled at me. For a moment, it was like having friends.

On the schoolwork frontier, I'm terrified. I'm the top of the non-Slytherins in Potions, and the top of Charms, but I'm lagging in Defense, failing in Transfiguration, dropping out of Astronomy, sleeping through History of Magic, and destructively ending any chance of any career involving living plants.

**October 18, 1992**

My shoes have disappeared. How odd. Professor Sprout says that I may have a magical allergy to specific families of plants. I hope there's a cure or something. Perhaps there's a potion. I'll ask Solstice.

I'm **relly realy** really tired. I beleee – never mind, to bed I go.

**October 19, 1992**

Sweet Merlin, I forgot to write my essay for Lopehead. _"Ten Ways that Werewolves Can Be Killed By Yours Truly."_ Gag. And class is in – ten minutes! Yipes!

**Later**

I got detention. Filch twice a week and Lopehead twice a week. Oh, how wondrous.

My shoes are still missing.

**October 23, 1992**

I don't care what the imbecile I live with say – I love Filch. He found my shoes! He gave them back to me, and I brushed Mrs. Norris' fur for a while before cleaning trophies. I wonder who Tom Riddle is.

First Lopehead detention tomorrow.

**October 24, 1992**

I watched Gryffindor Quidditch practice today. I wish I could fly as gracefully as Harry Potter. He's really good. But noooooooo, I still can't even float a couple of feet!

Lopehead detention: addressed envelopes. My legs hurt.

My shoes have gone missing again, along with my hairbrush. I must speak to Filch soon.

**October 28, 1992**

My back and legs are hurting. So's my stomach a little. Lopehead detentions make me feel ill.

I've gotten an exemption pass from Professor Sprout. It says:

"_Miss Dunbar is exempt from Herbology classes until further notice due to her extreme magical allergy to omnivorous and intensely magical plants._"

I'm afraid for the end of term, I'm completely failing Transfiguration, and I started so far ahead. Now, all I seem to be able to do is _Vanish_ the things I'm trying to Transfigure. Irritating, and we don't even learn Vanishing until fifth or sixth year! Gah!

List of missing belongings: Shoes, hairbrush, hairbands, Defense textbooks. Thankfully, my copy of _Hogwarts, a History_ is kept locked away, where nobody but someone who shares my blood can get it. Who cares if blood spells are technically a little dark?

**October 31, 1992**

"_The Chamber of Secrets has been opened. Enemies of the heir, beware!_"

I am happy that I had enough room in my trunk for the _Hogwarts, a History_ book. The library's been stormed, supposedly.

The Chamber of Secrets, allegedly, was a chamber built by Salazar Slytherin to hold a terrible monster within the school. Never discovered, the entrance would hypothetically not allow anyone in but the Heir of Slytherin. When said Heir arrived, they would then attempt to eradicate all muggleborns and part-bloods with the monster.

My legs and back are aching. My stomach's upset, and my wrists feel sore. I wonder if I've finally caught that flu?

Now missing shoes, hairbrush, hairbands, Defense textbooks, and all underwear but one pair. There was Itching Powder in my bed last night, too.

**November 4, 1992**

Lopehead detention. Feel ill. Missing shoes, hair supplies, textbooks, underwear, and raincape. Failing Transfiguration. Will go to bed now.

**November 7, 1992**

Gryff-Slyth Quidditch game, today. Gryffs won. Potter was a brilliant Seeker, caught the Snitch while being tag-chased by an oddly fixated Bludger. Broke his arm. Lopehead Vanished his bones from his arm.

Lopehead detention later.

**November 8, 1992**

Colin Creevey, the Gryff who rode in the boat with me, is now Petrified.

**November 11, 1992**

Lopehead detention. I feel ill.

**November 14, 1992**

Lopehead detention. My back is sore, my throat is raw, and I have a large bruise on my arm that I can't remember getting. My legs hurt, too!

**November 18, 1992**

Lopehead detention. I threw up when I got back from detention, and I have a weird bruise on my chest. My back is sore, my legs hurt, my stomach aches, and my wrists feel… oh no. They feel like I've been tied up for a long period of time. I know because they feel like when Robert Jones hasssssssssssssssss. Never mind.

I think I shall go to Madam Pomfrey.

**November 19, 1992**

What did I write yesterday? I can't remember, and I still can't find that bloody instruction manual!

**Later**

I just got kicked out of the library.

**November 21, 1992**

Lopehead detention.

**November 25, 1992**

Lopehead detention.

**November 28, 1992**

Lopehead detention.

**December 2, 1992**

Lopehead detention.

**December 7, 1992**

I'm totally staying at Hogwarts for Christmas. That way, Robert Jones won't **rxxx xx**.

**December 9, 1992**

Lopehead detention.

**December 12, 1992**

Lopehead detention.

**December 16, 1992**

Lopehead detention. Why can't I remember what happened? And why is it only starting to bother me n-

**_---========--====_::_**

Something weird's going on.

**December 17, 1992**

Dueling Club. Professor Snape reportedly handed Lopehead his arse on a cushion. According to rumor, Harry Potter is the Heir to Slytherin, and a Parseltongue. I doubt it.

I doubt the Heir of Slytherin part, not the Parseltongue part. I think the Weasley twins believe him too. They're funny, but smart.

**December 19, 1992**

Lopehead detention. Still haven't remembered what occurred in that three hour period of time. Nor have I found any of my things. Some random Gryffindor with light brown hair said hello to me today.

**December 25, 1992 – Christmas Day**

The feast was alright. I saw Professor McGonagall looking at me sadly; I think I failed end-of-term exams. Bugger.

Professor Snape actually _took me aside_ and told me that he's developing a potion for people with magical allergies. I felt really, really, really touched.

Still can't find my hair supplies, textbooks, underwear, or raincape. Also lost my favorite quill. Found my shoes hanging from the spire of Gryffindor Tower. I Levitated them down myself. Hah!

**January 1, 1993**

Happy New Year! Or not so happy. I failed the first term of Transfiguration. Who on earth fails _FIRST TERM?_

Professor McGonagall took me aside and gave me a list of people who are far enough ahead of their own classes to tutor me. I'll look at it when I'm not so tired.

On to less savory thoughts, I have a black eye. One of the big hulking Slytherins hit me. My detentions have been extended. At this rate, I won't manage to have one free week the whole year.

**January 3, 1993**

I finally got around to looking at my list of optional tutors. I have separated them out by year, and will now use this very diary to figure out which one is best.

Gryffindor: 

_Angelina Johnson_ – she's very obsessive, I've seen her arrange her breakfast plate every day into geometric designs

_Cormac McLaggen_ – the guy's a terrifying menace!

_Fred and George Weasley_ – pranksters, but good-hearted, don't really know very much about them, but they don't put in a great deal of effort _and_ they're at the top of their class

_Percy Weasley_ – priss. Enough said.

_Oliver Wood_ – Quidditch geek

Slytherin: 

_Daphne Greengrass_ – rather snappish, but reportedly very smart

_Solstice Malfoy_ – the only person who speaks to me politely on a regular basis

_Blaise Zabini_ – quiet, intimidating

Hufflepuff: 

_Susan Bones_ – a year older than me, quick-tempered

_Cedric Diggory_ – really nice, but doesn't seem to realize that his friends are rather cruel, I wouldn't want him to be my tutor because of his dorm-mates

Ravenclaw: 

_Terry Boot_ – a year older than me, nice enough guy

_Marcus Bradley_ – two years older than me, rude and a bit nasty at times

_Eddie Carmichael_ – speaks in Ravenclaw-ese, completely incapable of tutoring a normal, non-Ravenclaw person

_Penelope Clearwater_ – really nice, but won't have a lot of spare time due to being a Prefect and picking up the slack for the Head Girl

_Roger Davies_ – very distant, never actually spoken to him, seems very stiff

_Luna Lovegood_ – very nice, but oblivious to reality

Alright, so from what my list says, the best options are:

Terry Boot

Solstice Malfoy

The Weasley Twins

Right. So, Ravenclaw is probably not a good option, because most Ravenclaws have a difficulty understanding how anyone can _not_ understand.

_**Terry Boot**_

_Solstice Malfoy_

_The Weasley Twins_

Solstice is barely at the top of the class, and I don't want to drag her down. Plus, my rep in the House is already bad enough; being tutored by a Slytherin could get me murdered.

_**Terry Boot**_

_**Solstice Malfoy**_

_The Weasley Twins_

Wait a minute. I just chose the _Weasley Twins!_ Oh Merlin. I'm really in for it now.

But they probably are the best option anyway.

**January 4, 1993**

I handed in my choice of tutors. I probably should write out a will in case I explode in the next couple of weeks.

Detention with Lopehead begins again on the 6th.

**January 6, 1993**

Detention with Lopehead today. I have my first meeting with the Weasley Twins tomorrow. Luckily, I found a nifty Shield Charm in _Standard Book of Spells, Grade 6_. It alerts me and holds back anything but really strong hexes, and it can be set to a physical holding device. I set it to my lucky necklace.

Wish me luck.

**January 7, 1993**

I officially love the Weasley twins. Love them. Do you think I could marry them both?

They are extremely goofy, yes, but they know how to Transfigure _and_ how to teach it! At first, I thought that they were goofing off, because they told me that we were going to do some research first. Research! Everyone knows that the Weasley Twins never do research!

They took me outside and put a pebble in my lap, and told me to use Charms to turn it into the exact image of a brightly-colored toy ball. That part was easy.

Then, they showed me how to do it in "an easier way." Fred (he has a freckles right under his left eye) told me that I should focus on the pebble and the ball, not on the magic. Focus on what I want, and less on how I want it. And it worked!

Now we're working on Switching Spells. I can't wait to see if I've finally managed to get Transfiguration!

They also gave me a candy from Hogsmeade. As I said, I think I love the Weasley Twins.

**January 9, 1993**

Lopehead detention, and I feel so ill. I think that I shall go to the Hospital Wing. Why does something as stupid as addressing envelopes make my back, legs, and stomach sore, as well as hurt my wrists and make my head hurt? Ma_----====__===

**January 30, 1993**

I have these huge blocks of time where I can't remember what happened. What's going on? My Lopehead detentions ended, thankfully. The Twins have helped me up to a reasonable place in Transfiguration, but we still can't figure out why I mess it up half the time.

I'm so tired, and I don't know why.

**April 1, 1993**

Happy birthday Fred and George! I got detentions with Lopehead again, three weeks ago. MY memory seems to be falling apart. I find myself unable to remember where I put my homework, what I ate for lunch, _if_ I ate lunch, if I did my homework, where the Defense classroom is.

What's going on?

**April 4, 1993**

I'm going to go to the hospital wing. I feel like I have the flu or something, and my memory of the last three days is completely gone.

**May 30, 1993**

You will never believe this. There was a basilisk going around Petrifying people, and I was one of them! I got Petrified while on my way to the Hospital Wing.

Lockhart apparently wiped his own memory while Harry Potter took out the basilisk _and_ the person who opened the Chamber of Secrets. No more Lopehead detentions!

Exams are canceled, which is a good thing. I think that I'm back to failing Transfiguration.

**June 5, 1993**

Harry Potter and Hermione Granger both said hello to me today! And also the other Gryffindor guy, Neville Longbottom.

Fred and George both said that they're willing to tutor me again next year. Hopefully, that means that I'll somehow pass Transfiguration (I hope).

School ends on the 19th.

**June 10, 1993**

I went to Professor Sprout to ask if it was possible to stay over at Hogwarts over the summer. I don't want to see Robert Jones, and I still haven't found all of my underwear.

She said no.

I'm not looking forward to the summer.

On the up side, I found this really cool place to hide my stuff. It's a dumbwaiter in the kitchens. I tested it several times to make sure that nobody took anything, so I'm going to leave this diary in the dumbwaiter until next year.

**June 19, 1993**

Good bye, Hogwarts. I love you, despite my many messy situations this year. See you next year.

**End of the school year 1992-1993. Summer of 1993 coming soon.

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**

**AN:** Please, Please, Please: REVIEW! I need to know that this is not a stupid idea, diary style is not my ordinary style of writing! So please review!


	2. Summer of 1993

**Disclaimer: **As I am a simple person who does not own tons and tons of money, I must admit to being a plain American girl, and not JK Rowling. Therefore, I do not own Harry Potter and the connected involved characters. Oh, well...

**Canon until post-Ootp. Then my imagination takes over.**

* * *

**August 4, 1993**

A snowy owl flew in the window of a wizarding hotel in Egypt, and landed in front of Fred (or George) Weasley.

Ron, their younger brother, looked up with surprise. "Hedwig! What are you doing here?"

Hedwig gave the freckled thirteen-year-old a haughty glare, and held her leg out to George (or Fred).

Fred (or George) reached out, and divested her of the muggle-style envelope. His eyebrows rose. "It's from Eileen," he informed his twin (and everyone else at the breakfast table).

Bill, their oldest brother, (who lived here in Egypt,) grinned. "Who's Eileen? A girlfriend?"

George (or Fred) snorted. "She's Ginny's age," he said. "Besides, why did her letter come with Hedwig?"

Fred (or George) frowned. "That is a very good question, brother," he said. As one, the twins left the table, with Hedwig following behind.

_*July 31, 1993*_

_To: The Carrot-Topped Twits Who Transfigure_

_From: Eileen Dunbar, the Transfiguration Dunce_

_Hey, twits!_

_I read about your family in the Daily Prophet. Congrats! Prank your brother Percy in one of the tombs, okay?_

_My summer homework is going miserably, and I wish you two were here to help me with Transfiguration. I honestly wish the subject didn't exist._

_Missing you stupid pranksters horribly,_

_Eileen_

_PS. Isn't this Harry Potter's owl? Why did she show up __at the __ here?_

Fred (or George) looked at Hedwig. "You are one smart owl, aren't you?" he said amusedly, "How did you know that Ellie needed you?"

George (or Fred) grinned at his brother. "Ellie?"

Fred (or George) rolled his eyes. "Yes. Ellie. Eileen needs a nickname."

After looking around for a moment, George (or Fred) took out a piece of old parchment. "What do you think, old map?"

Words scrawled themselves across the page.

_Mr. Padfoot agrees wholeheartedly with the Carrot-Tops, and suggests calling her Miss Elegant._

_Mr. Prongs wonders why this Eileen is important to the Carrot-Tops._

_Mr. Padfoot thinks it is obvious._

_Mr. Moony thinks that Eileen is a beautiful name, but agrees with the suggestions of Ellie or Miss Elegant._

Fred (or George) looked at George (or Fred). "Let's write her back."

**August 9, 1993**

Eileen sat up tiredly on her bed, pushing back a limp wisp of hair and rubbing a bruised wrist. A tap on her window broke her out of some rather depressing thoughts.

"Oh, hello again, beautiful," Eileen whispered hoarsely to the gorgeous white owl. "A letter for me?"

The snowy owl bobbed her head, dropped the letter, and left.

Stumbling back to her bed, Eileen carefully unrolled the scroll of parchment.

_*August 4, 1993*_

_To: The Brilliant Charms Mistress, Miss Elegant_

_From: The Carrot-Topped Twits Who Transfigure_

_Hello there, Ellie!_

'_Fred here insists on calling you Ellie.'_

_Wait a minute, you're Fred – I'm George!_

'_No, you're Fred.'_

_Anyway, how has Miss Elegant's summer been? _

'_Yeah, how's it been?'_

_We'll see you in Diagon, right?_

'_Yeah, cuz you need your stuff, right?'_

_You read about the escape of Sirius Black?_

'_Be careful Miss Elegant.'_

_Really – seriously, be careful Ellie. We want our student back come September._

'_See you soon!'_

_See you!_

_Fred and George, the Carrot-Topped Twits_

Eileen smiled fondly at the letter. Those two were the only people who really treated her like she meant anything. For a moment, she thought about getting a pen and some paper to reply. A sharp pain in her lower stomach convinced her otherwise.

Shutting her eyes, Eileen leaned back. _Somehow_, she thought. _Somehow, I have to get to Diagon Alley_.

The door to her room slammed open, and a tall man with blonde hair stomped in. Eileen shivered, and shrank into the bedclothes.

_Robert Jones_.

**August 27, 1993**

Eileen looked around cautiously, and staggered down the stairs of the orphanage slowly, carrying her trunk and wishing she could Levitate it.

Reaching the bottom of the staircase, Eileen leaned against the wall, breathing heavily. Tears streamed down her face in silent pain, while a similar pattern painted her legs in blood.

Trembling, Eileen pushed the front door of the orphanage open, and stumbled out onto the darkened street. About to breathe a sigh of relief, a hand came out of the darkness behind her and grabbed her shoulder.

Eileen shrieked, barely missing dropping her trunk. Standing drunkenly in the doorway of the orphanage was a man from her nightmares. Robert Jones.

Robert Jones had blonde hair that probably would have looked nice if he ever washed and brushed it. His muddy-brown eyes stood out somewhat in his skull, and his nose had been broken several times. Unfortunately for a weedy girl like Eileen, who stood barely four feet tall, escape was futile. Robert Jones, regrettably, was made from muscle and fat, out weighing the tiny brunette by quite a bit.

Eileen began gasping for breath as Robert Jones shook her shoulder roughly.

"Where d'you think you're goin', gel?" he slurred, stepping forward drunkenly. "Not leavin', are ye?"

Eileen swallowed back a sob, memories of other rough nights swimming through her head. Weakly, she dropped her trunk.

Right onto Robert Jones' feet.

With a _crack_ that made it extremely possible that it had broken bones, Eileen's tightly-packed school-trunk made contact with a force called gravity, teaching Robert Jones a very important lesson: Do not attack girls with heavy schoolbooks packed tightly into a large trunk.

Yowling, Robert Jones fell backwards, landing hard on the floor. Nursing his bleeding and broken feet, Robert Jones did not notice Eileen shakily grab her trunk and limp out into the night.

Feeling queasy from her extremely near escape, Eileen wandered through the darkened streets of London until she found a bench. Looking at the sign on the post beside the bench, she squinted as read that the first bus would be out at nine in the morning.

Sighing, Eileen set her trunk under the bench, and lay down on the hard metal.

**August 28, 1993**

The rising sun struck Eileen directly in the face, waking her rather easily from a restless sleep. With a startled yelp, she fell from the bench onto the pavement.

Wiping away tears of agony as the scabs that had begun on her legs ripped open once more, Eileen took a closer look at the signpost beside the bench, and held back a sob. It was Sunday. The first bus wouldn't come until 10:30 am.

Digging through her pockets, Eileen found four pounds and five pence. Going over to the (practically out of date) machine, she slid three-pounds-fifty into the slot for a full-day bus pass. That way, it she got lost, she had until the next day to reorient herself.

Looking longingly across the street at the dingy coffee-shop, Eileen dug through her pockets until she found a pair of apple drops, which she popped into her mouth in place of breakfast.

Wishing she had a humbug or two, (she'd unfortunately been nowhere near a normal candy shop this past winter,) Eileen sighed with relief as the bus pulled up with a loud screech and a snort.

Hoping she remembered where the Leaky Cauldron was correctly, Eileen boarded the bus.

Two false stops later, Eileen stood on the (rather dirty) street that housed an old-fashioned tavern called "The Leaky Cauldron" as the sun began to set.

Ignoring the pain in her gut and in her legs, Eileen walked steadily into the Wizarding World.

**August 29, 1993**

Staring up at the ceiling of her room in the Leaky Cauldron, Eileen decided that she would somehow manage to find a nice gift for Tom, the owner of the tavern and inn.

The night before, Tom had taken one look at her, and told her quietly that she could stay for a couple of days free of charge "just until the First." He'd even given her some potion to put on her legs to stop the bleeding!

After a long shower and a dig through her schoolbooks until she found her only other outfit that wasn't uniform, Eileen stumbled downstairs to get herself some breakfast – and bumped right into somebody only a tiny bit taller than herself.

From the ground, Eileen stared at the thin boy who was fumbling about for the glasses that had fallen from his face.

"Excuse me?" She made it almost into a question, and swallowed back a gasp as the boy slid his glasses onto his face and revealed a lightning-bolt scar on his forehead. Eileen, while intrigued by the scar, was more drawn to his eyes, though; they were a vivid green that evoked faint memories in the back of her mind.

Harry Potter looked sheepish. "Sorry for bumping into you," he mumbled, looking at his shoes. He held out a hand, and pulled Eileen to her feet. "I'm a bit tired. Wasn't really looking where I was going. You're a Hufflepuff, aren't you? Eileen Dunbar?"

Eileen gaped. "You-you know who I am?"

Harry shrugged. "Ron's older brothers mentioned you last year in passing, and it only took me a couple of days to put the name to the face. Want to sit with me for breakfast?"

Startled, Eileen nodded without thinking about it.

Eileen spent the rest of the day with Harry, and discovered that he was extremely smart. Wondering absently why rumors had it that he was barely an "Acceptable" grade student, her eyes widened as a snowy owl flew into the street and landed on Harry's shoulder.

Harry lit up. "Hedwig!"

"Is that her name?" Eileen asked curiously, reaching out and brushing the white feathers with a finger. Harry looked at her oddly. "You've met Hedwig?"

Eileen blushed. "She showed up at the orphanage just as I was wishing I had some way to send a letter to the Weasley Twins. They're my Transfiguration tutors, you know."

Ruffling Hedwig's feathers, Harry nodded. "They told me. About her just showing up like that, well, Hedwig's just smart like that. She's like a mother, for me."

Eileen smiled up at the preening bird. She could definitely believe that. Hedwig looked like a proud mother with her baby son. Holding back a snicker, Eileen wondered if Hedwig was worried about Harry's lack of wings.

The three of them; Harry, Eileen, and Hedwig; spent the late afternoon and evening going over homework. Finishing her Potions essay, Eileen glanced up at Harry's work to see him "dumbing it down."

"What – what in Merlin's name are you doing, Harry?" Eileen gasped. With her own desperately bad grades, she couldn't understand why anyone would purposely sabotage their own work.

Harry turned red. "I – erm –"

As Harry continued to stutter, Eileen remembered one of the only times she'd had a friend, back when she was four. Her friend had been rather unmotivated, so Eileen had purposefully made her schoolwork worse, so as not to lose her friend.

"It's for your friends, isn't it?" Eileen whispered.

Harry jumped. "How did you…?"

Eileen shrugged. "I've done the same. Of course, now I have no friends to speak of."

Harry's green eyes flashed. "That's not true. You have Fred, George, and me!"

Tears filled Eileen's eyes, and she wiped them away furiously before Harry could notice them. "I'm – I'm your friend?"

Harry rolled up his essay and hugged her. "Course you are. Erm – just come find me, 'cause the times I tried last year, I couldn't find you."

Eileen blushed. "I was probably hiding."

Harry's eyes darkened. "Hiding?"

Eileen's eyes widened at what had slipped out. "Um, er, I mean – I have to go!"

Knocking over a bottle of ink, Eileen gathered up her now-finished homework, and fled.

**August 30, 1993**

Eileen rubbed out a splotch of ink and looked at the letter she'd written.

_Dear Carrot-Topped-Twits,_

_You guys are coming to Diagon tomorrow, aren't you? Would you meet me outside Flourish and Blotts? I have a… request._

_Yours Truly,_

_Miss Elegant_

She glared at the letter for a moment, and sighed. To send it, she'd have to go talk to Harry again. Eileen wasn't certain that she wanted to do that.

A tap on the door to her room made Eileen jump, and nearly spill her ink. Grumbling about clumsiness, Eileen stumbled over to the door to find Harry standing there sheepishly.

"Hi," he said; his eyes on the floor. "I just – well, I just wanted to, y'know, say I'm sorry for upsetting you yesterday, and well, Hedwig here thinks that you have a letter that needs to go out, so –"

Eileen blushed so hard that she could feel her cheeks getting internal-sunburn.

"S'my fault," she mumbled. "I was embarrassed – what type of person is disliked by Hufflepuffs? Especially when she _is_ a Hufflepuff?"

Hedwig lifted off of Harry's shoulder as he started forward abruptly, his arms going around her shoulders hesitantly. Sniffing, all of the wild emotions of the past week caught with her, and Eileen began to cry.

"I don't know – Ells-Bells, don't cry, please – Merlin, Ellie, tell me what I said wrong, what I did –"

"S'nothing," Eileen sniffed. "I just – I just…" Shaking, Eileen pulled away and wiped her tears with the end of her sleeve. "Sorry."

Harry shook his head. "Nah, it's fine. Hed' will stay with you today, and she'll find me when you don't need her anymore. That alright?"

Eileen nodded, and barely even looked at Harry as he left.

Closing the door to her room, Eileen let out a sigh. Why did Harry Potter have to be so _nice_?"

**August 31, 1993**

The Weasleys did come to Diagon Alley on the thirty-first, but Eileen barely saw them. After a rather nasty run-in with the youngest boy, Ron, Eileen decided that staying out of the way was the best idea. She did wonder, though, how such a nice person as Harry could be friends with such a nasty person as Ron Weasley.

Mid-afternoon, Eileen met the Twins outside of Flourish and Blotts, and they briefly discussed resuming the tutoring during the school-year. It was then that Eileen made her proposition.

"I could – well, I could help you with your pranks, but only if…" Eileen bit her lip. "Only, only if you guys promise…" She couldn't continue.

Fred looked at her. "You want us to protect you from less nice pranks, don't you?"

Eileen's head shot up, cricking her neck. "I – I –"

George put an arm over her shoulders. "Don't worry," he said, "You're like a little sister. Special."

"Yeah," agreed Fred, "Except that you've got brown hair. But that's alright. Just ask Harry – he's the black-haired Weasley!"

And with that, the conversation wandered on to less solemn subjects.

**September 1, 1993**

Eileen slipped onto Platform Nine and Three-Quarters with little fuss – just herself and her trunk, unnoticed by the muggles.

She got on the train without any trouble, thankfully. Unfortunately, once she was _on_ the train…

"Oooh, look, it's baby Leenie!"

"Dumb, dopey, Dunbar!"

"Fails her classes, cries at detention!"

_SCREECH!_ The train stopped. Eileen, who had been running, slammed headfirst into a wall. The world went black to the sound of Robert Jones' voice.

**END OF THE SUMMER OF 1993**

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**AN: **Please, Please, Please: REVIEW! I need to know that this is not a stupid idea, diary style is not my ordinary style of writing! So please review!


	3. School Year: 1993 to 1994

**Disclaimer:** As I am a simple person who does not own tons and tons of money, I must admit to being a plain American girl, and not JK Rowling. Therefore, I do not own Harry Potter and the connected involved characters. Oh, well...

**Canon until post-Ootp. Then my imagination takes over.**

***I made up the song that Eileen mentions, "Happy Day." If it is similar to something real, I am truly sorry.***

* * *

**September 1, 1993**

Hello again, Hogwarts. Yes, I'm back. Back to tutoring with Weasleys and failing in Herbology and falling from brooms and talking with House Elves. You know, for the first day back, today was awfully crazy.

First of all, it was raining. And I don't mean a soft drizzle or something. I mean rain like you walk outside for a second and suddenly you're drenched. That type of raining. Yeah. Mud every type of raining, soaking and freezing and _gross_ type of raining.

On the train, I was cornered by Marvella and Elisa. They chased after me, calling names and threatening me. It was – embarrassing.

Then, the train stopped. It just – STOPPED, and then I hit a wall. I blacked out, but just before I did, I heard Robert Jones.

As it turned out, I wasn't _really_ hearing Robert Jones yelling at me. See, there are these things, called Dementors. Dementors cause you to experience your worst memory, and if they get close enough, they suck out your soul. Horrible things.

The new Defense Professor, Professor Lupin, woke me and gave me some chocolate. I fear I shall have nightmares tonight.

I rode in these carriages to Hogwarts, as apparently all of those in their second year and above do. The thestrals pull the carriages. I still got soaked.

Marvella shoved me into a mud puddle, and people laughed. I wonder how I ever thought that I would fit in anywhere. Luna Lovegood helped me up. She's nice, for a Ravenclaw. Pity that she's the only Ravenclaw who treats me like I am human.

I pray that I manage to get a full night's sleep tonight.

**September 2, 1993**

My shoes have already gone missing.

I have Defense tomorrow, and I am cautiously looking forward to it. Professor Lupin seemed like a nice person. Quiet, but nice.

I actually passed Transfiguration last year, if you remember, and guess what? Between Harry's help and Fred and George, I got an EE on my homework! I didn't just pass, I got Exceeds Expectations!

I'm still only taking Herbology in Theory. Professor Snape apparently finished the allergy potion, but instead of neutralizing the allergy, I made all of the plants in the greenhouse catch fire. Erm, I also kind of melted the glass walls of the greenhouse, which are actually Charmed to be anti-meltable. Now Professor Flitwick wants to test various charms on my plant-produced fire, to see how strong it is. He was mumbling something about FiendFyre.

Harry said hi to me this morning, as did Solstice and Luna. I feel almost as if I have friends.

**September 3, 1993**

Yesterday, Solstice's older brother was hurt by a hippogriff. I have no doubt that he deserved it. He's blonde. Solstice apparently looks like her aunt. I went to Hagrid's hut and met the hippogriff, Buckbeak. According to rumor, Harry rode him. I believe it. Harry Potter was born to fly.

I officially love Professor Lupin. He is the nicest teacher I think has ever existed. He's tall, very thin, and tired looking with grey-brown hair and brownish eyes. He has a nice smile; it makes me feel safe and warm.

After his class, which was about Dark Curses because we're dreadfully behind where we are supposed to be, I went up to him to ask about my missing memories from last year. He told me that there are two possibilities – either I blocked them out myself, or someone erased my memories. He thinks that, because there are some memories that I _should_ have that are missing, that someone erased my memories, and either they got sloppy, or they did it too many times.

He also said something about checking Madam Pomfrey for Memory Charms and erased records. I wonder why.

Oddly enough, Fred came up to me and gave me a kiss on the cheek. Nobody has ever kissed me anywhere before. It was funny, and felt comfy. He told me that we'll start up tutoring again next week on the 6th.

I still haven't found my shoes, and now my spare pair that I just bought has gone missing.

They begin rebuilding the greenhouse today. I have my get-out-of-Herbology-free card again. Just theory for me. I wonder how they'll manage my OWLs.

During supper, someone tripped me and I broke my nose. I healed it myself. No need to bother Madam Pomfrey. Rumors claim that she's thinking of personalizing a bed for Harry Potter. After last year, I don't want her to do that for me either.

Professor Sprout also informed me that I am on Remedial Flying Lessons when they start in a week.

**September 4, 1993**

I woke with a horrible rash this morning; it was all scaly and swollen. A quick glance in my _**All Purpose Ailments and Afflictions**_ by Cam Frieda Heller informed me that it was caused by an overdose of Itching Powder, type 5, and that it can only be soothed by Murtlap Essence. So, off I went to the Hospital Wing without shoes _or_ socks, since those have disappeared as well. I was crying by the time I got there, my feet were bleeding.

Currently, I am reading _**Transfiguration for Dunces: Wand Before Words**_, by Teliya Twitch. I hope I can find my socks soon, of I'm going to have worse blisters than last year.

**September 5, 1993**

I'm back in the dorm, thankfully. I hate the Hospital Wing.

My head is throbbing, has been since this morning. I went to Madam Pomfrey to get a headache potion, and it worked for a little while, but not as long as it should have. Oh, well. There is no way that I am going back to the Hospital Wing, not now.

I can't wait for tomorrow. Fred and George are starting their tutoring for me again tomorrow.

**September 6, 1993**

Fred looked really upset for some reason during our tutoring today. I wonder why, he wouldn't answer when I asked.

I am not looking forward to Remedial Flying Lessons. Just a thought – what happens if I fail again?

My head still hurts.

**September 7, 1993**

The weirdest thing happened at breakfast today. All of my roommates grew four extra arms, and a blinking lighted sign that said, "We Need These Arms to Take That Which Is Not Ours."

**September 9, 1993**

Flying lessons were awful. I'm worse than half of the First Years. At this rate, I'll be on Remedial Flying Lessons forever.

Defense tomorrow!

I wish my headache would go away.

**October 27, 1993**

Oh, you've been missing for ages! I was writing when I sneezed, so I got up to get a tissue**. **When I got back, by bed was empty! I knew that I shouldn't ever leave this diary out where someone could get it, but I was barely a few feet away!

While I searched, my headaches got worse, my Transfiguration is going even further down the drain than it already was, and they finished rebuilding the greenhouse.

For the past week, I've been rarely hungry, and I've been nauseous a lot. I'm so glad that I've got this diary back, though. I think that the Twins have been pranking my roommates, but all that has changed is that more of my things have gone missing, and I always wake up pranked.

Yesterday, for instance, I woke up with the words "Dunbar the Dunce" written on my forehead. Wonderful, right?

Luna told me the other day that grouping by physical features is illogical. She's not really blonde, anyway, so does it matter?

Despite Fred and George, my Transfiguration is wallowing somewhere close to the level of First Year, and I have difficulty with that! If I can't do it, whatever I'm attempting to Transfigure blows up into a balloon-shape, or it Vanishes. Why can't I have an easy time with any class but Charms?

Okay, now I'm being silly. I'm tolerable at Potions, and History of Magic is a good time to read my textbooks. But really, that's three classes! Astronomy is a dump, Herbology will only ever be 50%, Transfiguration is impossible, and I'll never be able to stay on a broom! At least I'm doing tolerably well in DADA.

Tomorrow's Remedial Flying. I'd best get some sleep, since I'll probably be in the Hospital Wing by this time tomorrow.

**October 28, 1993**

I was right. Guess where I am? Three guesses and the first two don't count.

The Hospital Wing. Right in one.

At least Fred and George came by earlier, and gave me chocolate frogs from somewhere. I think they know a secret way into Hogsmeade, because the first Hogsmeade weekend is Halloween.

Oh my gosh…

…ooo000O000ooo…

You'll never believe who just came to the Hospital Wing _to talk to me_! Harry came! He came, and asked how my year's been so far! I said it was okay.

Yes, I know that I was lying, but he's got enough on his plate! I mean, there's a mass murderer on his heels, he doesn't need the random problems of a twelve-year-old on his mind.

Plus, he's already got one twelve-year-old stalker, he doesn't need another. Actually, I think he might have two – Colin Creevey and Ginny Weasley.

I wish that they wouldn't do that. He has enough problems without us kids causing more.

Harry also gave me something that he got in Diagon Alley! It's a lock, but once I key it in, I can leave this diary anywhere, and nobody will be able to touch it! It needs a bit of my blood every time I open it, but what's the big deal? Hold on, Madam Pomfrey's coming over with an odd look on her face.

…ooo000O000ooo…

No way. No bloody way. Absolutely impossibly no no no no no no no nononononononononononoNO!

I'm – I'm – I can't even write it! Robert Jones caused the stuff I've been feeling lately, the headaches and stuff. How? I'm –

No. I won't write it. If I write it, it'll be true. If I don't then maybe I'll wake up from this horrible, horrible nightmare. I have to. This… this must be a nightmare. I mean, I'm twelve! There's no way I could be…

**October 31, 1993**

Yippee. Third years and up are in Hogsmeade, everyone else is partying about because it's a weekend, and me? I'm in the Hospital Wing throwing my guts up.

Apparently, the potion that Madam Pomfrey gave me to end my… problem… it makes me throw up everything I've eaten in ages and ages.

I'm just glad that this is the last potion of that type I'll have to take… I hope. Madam Pomfrey says she'll give me a potion that I can take to keep from getting in this position in the first place.

**November 1, 1993**

Sirius Black was in the castle! As soon as I get out of the Hospital Wing, I am going to find every record I can that refers to Sirius Black. I want to know what is going through his head. He can't be insane if he's functioning well enough to get all the way into the castle!

My stomach hurts, but I'm leaving the Hospital Wing later.

At least my ability to have children when I – well, at least it isn't damaged.

**November 6, 1993**

Dementors were at the Quidditch game. I nearly passed out, between seeing Harry fall all the way to the ground, and hearing Robert Jones shouting at me.

I visited Harry in the Hospital Wing, after the game, but he didn't wake up, and I left when his friends came in. I'm a little afraid of Ronald Weasley, and I think that Hermione Granger is just too smart for me.

I found some yearbooks and genealogies. Time to look up Sirius Black. I'll look up Marvella Chittock's great-something-or-another while I'm at it.

**November 29, 1993**

I found my shoes in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. Wonderful. I also woke up with the word "Traitor" written all over my uniform. Cleaning it made me late for Transfiguration. I think it has something to do with my tolerance for Luna Lovegood. My roommates call her Loony, and she's a Ravenclaw.

We were flattened by Ravenclaw in Quidditch on the 27th.

I found out who Marvella's "Adalia Black" is. Adalia Gaunt Black, married to Orion Black, mother of Sirius, Phineas, Elladora, and Isla. Died in 1926, after the deaths of three of her children and her husband. Marvella is related to her through Phineas' daughter Belvina, who married Herbert Burke. Belvina's daughter, Sallah, is Marvella's mother. So, Marvella is distantly related to the Slytherin family, since the Gaunt family is supposedly the descendants of Slytherin. That's why she's so proud of being related to Adalia Black.

Sirius Black is a more interesting character.

The yearbooks prove him to be extremely handsome; he had black hair, grey eyes, and the high cheekbones prevalent in pureblood families. He also was extremely mischievous, currently holds the record amount of detentions (despite Fred and George's best efforts). Best friends with James Potter, Sirius despised everything that the Black family stood for – arrogance, Dark Magic, purity of blood – and ran away when he was sixteen.

Despite being proudly anti-Dark, people were oddly certain that he was to blame for betraying the Potters. There was no trial, and no inquiries with his other best friend, Remus Lupin, were made.

Supposedly, he killed Peter Pettigrew, but all that was found was a finger. Goodness, if all I had to do to get away from Robert Jones was cut off a finger, I'd have done it back when I was eight, back when he began – never mind.

The point is, even though he was loyal to a fault, proudly Light, and utterly devoted to James (and by default, Lily) Potter, people didn't even think twice about tossing him in Azkaban. And unless the Department of Mysteries gave him his trial, there never was one.

I think that now would be a good time to start planning about moving to France. I hear that the Magical Community is a lot less prejudiced and unfair.

Thinking about it, I feel bad for Professor Lupin. Here he is, at Hogwarts, when the friend that has been in Azkaban for years is trying – and succeeding – to get in. _And_ he's teaching his best friend's son.

I think that I'll ask Harry how much he knows, next time I see him.

**December 3, 1993**

I haven't managed to meet up with Harry yet.

I got a message today from Professor Sprout. The Headmaster wants to see me for some reason. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I was p – incapacitated at the beginning of the school year.

I need to find my socks; I can't go to see the Headmaster only wearing shoes without socks!

**December 4, 1993**

I can't remember if I wrote that I went to the Headmaster's office yesterday. As it turns out, he just wanted to make sure that I'm handling my classes, what with my inability to deal with living plants and stuff.

**December 6, 1993**

Professor Sprout hung up the sign-up sheets for staying over the holiday, today. I checkmarked the stay, obviously. It's bad enough that I'll have to return to the orphanage come summer, I definitely don't want to go back just in time to give Robert Jones a Christmas present.

**December 9, 1993**

You will never believe this! I finally Transfigured something! Erm, well, I Transfigured my ears. Into flowers.

Thankfully, they're just normal muggle flowers, so I won't blow up my ears by accident. Madam Pomfrey says that I can go through my daily life, so long as I come back to the Hospital Wing every day for the potion that I have to take. Something about accidental Transfiguration versus Transmogrification. Whatever.

Only problem is, I can't physically hear a thing!

Thank Merlin I can lip-read. Oh well, it isn't as if I actually have anyone to buy last-minute presents for. I bought presents for Solstice, Harry, and the twins back in August. And I made a necklace of bottlecaps for Luna. Oh, and I bought a Laughing Fuzzball for Hagrid. (They are little, fuzzy, cute, and have sharp teeth. They are not poisonous, but it's well-nigh impossible to kill them. It's as if they are made of steel. I think Hagrid will like it.)

I bought Solstice a book called "A History of America: From the Muggle Viewpoint." Very dry and her style. I think she'll like it, because she's trying to break free from her parents' image, but she genuinely likes boring stuff.

I bought walkie-talkies for the Twins, and I Charmed them to work on magic instead of batteries.

I bought a miniature Quidditch game that can be manipulated with a wand for Harry. I really wish I could have bought him something better, he deserves something awesome. Compared to his life, mine is easy.

**December 13, 1993**

Guess what type of flower my ears are? Lupines! Hehe.

**December 17, 1993**

Somebody stole the book I was going to give Solstice! And Solstice was just really nice to me too; she caught me when someone shoved me down the stairs and everything.

**December 18, 1993**

The oddest thing happened today. There was this wave, like a tidal wave of magic. It broke over the entire castle.

It made me shiver, and I felt like someone was staring at me. That feeling, it was like I was connected to the entire Hogwarts, and everything seemed to be glowing for a moment.

It was a wondrous feeling, and terrifying. I felt so tiny, compared to Hogwarts in its entirety.

I think that it may have been someone assuming control of the School Wards. I'll have to look it up, and see if there is an explanation in the library, over the break.

I found the book that I was going to give Solstice. It'll take me hours to clean and repair. But when it's done, it'll be as good as new. (I hope!)

**December 20, 1993**

Harry said hello to me in the Great Hall today, during breakfast. It felt nice to have someone pay attention to me for a whole minute.

I went on a walk once I finished my homework that's due post-holidays. It's really cold outside, but nice. The air smells sweet, and there may be no snow, but it's still nice.

Right now, I'm sitting under a tree while I'm writing. Most people aren't coming outside, because it's so cold, so I can be left alone.

Oh!

There's a large black dog, I think he thinks I have food – I do have a roll saved for later that I can give him. Hold on while I Warm it up again.

I've never had a real pet before, but this dog makes me feel safe. His eyes have this really smart look in them, like he's practically human.

I am going to look up magical dogs in the library later. Definitely. Teehee. He's licking my cheek.

**December 25, 1993, Christmas Day**

Merry Christmas! I actually got presents!

I got a necklace shaped like a star from Solstice, and it reeks of magic. I think it might be a Portkey.

I got a box of tricks from the Twins, as well as a book called _"What Is It: A Simple Guide to Transfiguration."_

Somebody, I don't know who, gave me a bracelet. I don't plan on wearing it until I figure out who gave it to me.

Luna gave me a pair of earrings made from some twisted wire. They're really… unique.

And guess what? _Harry_ gave me something! He gave me a book called "_Theories of Charms and Unique Spellwork_." It's for people who are going for a Charms Mastery!

The Headmaster smiled at me. I wish I could find the guidebook to this thing, because I think that I wrote something important involving the Headmaster, and now I can't remember!

**January 1, 1994, New Year**

Happy New Year. I just hope it'll be happier than last year. Or the year before that. And a nice gift from whoever's in charge out there would be some ability in flying and Transfiguration.

Yeah, right. This is a dumb time to think about it, but the probability that I'll ever be good at Transfiguration has reached an all-time low. I failed last term. I have been informed that, unless I can bring up my grade to an EE within two weeks of the beginning of next term, I will be given a different tutor.

Not good.

Ah, well. I shall hope for a good year, and ignore that little voice in the back of my head that says that it is a dream doomed to die.

**January 3, 1994**

The Third Years are learning about Salamanders in CoMC. The fencing holding the Salamanders in has already been re-Charmed to keep from burning down _seven_ times.

I told the Twins what Professor McGonagall told me, and they said they'll try to help. Somebody stole all of my books on Transfiguration, and I need those books!

My shoes are missing again.

**January 6, 1994**

My Transfiguration books are still missing, and I couldn't complete my homework for Transfiguration. I hope I get my books back before tomorrow, or I'm in awful trouble.

**January 7, 1994**

I borrowed Solstice's Transfiguration books, but I think I did pretty badly on the essay anyway. I'm in _such_ trouble.

I nearly fainted yesterday, when a Dementor got too close to the castle. I need to figure out how to fight off their effects.

**January 11, 1994**

Three more days until my time to bring up my Transfiguration grade is up, and I only got a bare A on my essay. I'm doomed.

**January 13, 1994**

Merlin, help me, please! I don't want any tutors but the Twins!

I overheard Harry talking to his friends; he's getting lessons on the Patronus Charm from Professor Lupin. I wonder if it is possible for me to eavesdrop on the lessons. I'd like to learn the Patronus as well.

I am going to look up the Patronus Charm as soon as I have time – which means, as soon as I am able to do something besides cram Transfiguration.

At least my DADA grades are on the rise. I'm near the top of the class! And Potions is nearly as good. Herbology Theory is alright, maybe EE/A level, and I'm currently reading _Twelfth Century Wizarding Events_, by Diggory McNab, so I'm far ahead of History of Magic.

**January 14, 1994**

Please, someone, let me die. Please.

I'm to be tutored by this boy who's a year older than me. He's another Hufflepuff, but he's supposedly really good at Transfiguration. I think I heard someone say something about Professor Sprout wanting him to become friends with someone, so this would be a good chance for him.

I don't know Zacharias Smith. But I do know that he's blonde. And that's a bad omen.

**January 15, 1994**

Everyone's really satisfied that Slytherin beat Ravenclaw, because of when Ravenclaw beat us earlier in the year. I think it's silly. But then, I still can barely stay on a broom.

**January 18, 1994**

I had my first tutoring session with Smith today. He's nearly as cruel as Robert Jones, vocally. Physically, he only slapped me twice. Not so bad.

I finally looked up magical dogs. As it turns out, the big black dog is called a Grim. Supposedly, seeing it means that you are going to die.

That isn't such a bad thing. I mean, who would miss me?

**January 21, 1994**

Smith gave me a black eye. Thank goodness I know how to make a simple bruise cream.

**January 25, 1994**

Someone stole my homework for Transfiguration. I'm terrified that I'm going to fail.

I blew up the cup that I was supposed to Transfigure for Smith. He didn't like that too much. Writing hurts.

**January 28, 1994**

I tried the Patronus Charm this morning during a free period. I got a bit of mist, using the memory of feeling like Harry was almost my friend.

Luna Lovegood gave me a hug today, before my tutoring session with Smith. I wonder why.

I got a black eye again. I think that my nose might be broken.

**February 1, 1994**

I broke my arm today, during tutoring. I told Madam Pomfrey that someone pushed me down the stairs. I'm not sure she believed me.

There was Itching Powder in my underwear today. I have a rash, now.

**February 4, 1994**

Somebody's rat bit me today. I hate rats. I hate blonde hair. I hate Itching Powder. I hate broken bones. I hate getting stupid February colds and being sick at horrid times.

I despise failing anything.

My life is miserable. I want to see the Grim again.

**February 6, 1994**

Rumor has it that Sirius Black tried to get Harry again, but picked the wrong bed. He was trying to get into Ronald Weasley's bed.

I think that, considering he got all the way into the Gryffindor Third Year Boys' Dorm, he wasn't making a mistake. For some reason, Sirius Black wants Ronald Weasley.

I wonder why.

**February 8, 1994**

Neville Longbottom got a Howler today. I hate Howlers, and I've never even gotten one.

Smith only gave me a – I mean, I only got a black eye today. I blew up the cup I was supposed to Transfigure again.

**February 14, 1994**

Happy Valentine's Day. Someone put toad slime in my bed today, and my shower water made me polka-dotted pink and purple. I look like a fool.

The Twins gave me chocolates that make me hum "Happy Day, Helen" under my breath. I like that song, especially once I found out that wizards know it. It goes:

_Happy day, _

_On my way_

_Gone to find my truth_

_Who loves me_

_Can it be_

_My husband, beloved from youth?_

_Happy Day, Helen Dearest, _

_Dearest Helen Love._

_Happy Day, Helen Dearest,_

_From Your Menelaus. _

_Happy day,_

_This I say_

_For you fill my world_

_I shall hope_

_To braid thy ropes_

_Of heartfelt-given pearls._

_Happy day, Helen Dearest…_

It's a pretty song, isn't it?

Harry smiled at me, and said "Happy Valentine's Day."

Despite the pranks, this has got to be the best Valentine's Day I have ever had.

**February 22, 1994**

Smith – I mean, _I_ broke my arm again. I think my ankle is sprained as well. Do you think that Madam Pomfrey will believe the "falling down the stairs" story again?

I didn't think so.

**March 4, 1994**

I Transfigured my left hand into a fork. It's silver. How odd it feels. What hurts is that Smith tried to bend it in half. Now it aches. He said that he wanted to see if it bent like real silver did.

It did.

I knew that Smith being blonde was a bad omen.

**March 7, 1994**

I officially hate stomach-aches. They are awful, and distracting. I threw up this morning. Madam Pomfrey said that I'm in the Hospital Wing almost as often as Harry is.

Wonderful.

**March 22, 1994**

The Twins' birthday is coming up. I'm making a sign that says "Danger Zone: Mischief Makers at Work," and Charming it to flash different colors and make false explosions.

I actually made a Patronus today. I imagined how I would feel if I passed Transfiguration with some leeway (like with an EE).

**March 25, 1994**

I hurt. A lot. My school robes are torn, too. I hope that I can mend them.

My right arm is twisted, and bruised. My eyes are both black. I think that I might have a chipped tooth.

Tutoring was not fun today. I wonder if I could get out of – no, I know better than that.

**March 29, 1994**

Madam Pomfrey told me that I should report whoever is hurting me. I wonder if reporting Smith will actually make him stop.

Should I report him?

I've decided that I shall buy a new copy of the guidebook to this diary. My memory is already bad enough; it would be nice to be able to remind myself of things.

**April 1, 1994**

Happy Sixteenth, Fred and George! I gave them their present. They said that they're going to hang it on their door at the Burrow! I can't believe that they actually thought it was any good.

I feel like I could produce a full Patronus! Fred called me their "little chocolate-topped sister!" And George agreed! Oh my gosh, they really did! I feel like I could dance on air!

I wonder…

…ooo000O000ooo…

Merlin! I – I – I Transfigured a tissue into a parchment! I really did! All by myself! Without help! I wonder if my problem has to do with confidence and visualization.

I'm going to try Transfiguring a cup into a plate. Hold on a moment.

…ooo000O000ooo…

It worked. It worked! It really, really _worked!_ I can Transfigure! I might actually pass! Oh my god, oh my god, I need to lie down before I fall down.

**April 16, 1994**

Up Gryffindor! Gryffindor won the Quidditch Cup! They beat Slytherin! And Professor Sprout and Professor McGonagall say that I no longer need tutoring in Transfiguration! And Harry grinned at me! And Fred hugged me! I think that it's exclamation day! I might have eaten too much chocolate after the game!

I think that I will get some warm milk from the kitchens and try to calm down a little.

**April 27, 1994**

I passed the Transfiguration pop quiz today! I got – guess! Guess what I got!

An O! I got an Outstanding on my Transfiguration pop quiz! I think that seeing the Grim before Christmas gave me good luck!

Smith punched me when I was on my way back to the dorm, today. So I have a black eye.

But I don't care about the black eye. I passed the pop quiz!

**May 5, 1994**

Solstice was crying today. I think it might be the first time I've ever seen her really be emotional. I asked her what was wrong, and she said that her brother wrote her parents and told them that she was my friend, and they sent her a letter stating that she _will_ stay away from me, or else.

I asked her what "or else" meant, and she told me to look up the Cruciatus Curse.

The Cruciatus Curse is an Unforgivable Curse, one of three. It causes indescribable pain. I can't believe that any parent would do that to their child, but Solstice says that her parents would. She's afraid of her own parents.

I always thought that having parents would be wonderful, but I guess that even parents can be nasty.

Solstice says that her parents are both blonde, and that her father sometimes doubts that she is a Malfoy, because she has black hair and looks just like her cousin Sirius. I can believe that such horrible parents would be blonde.

When I told Solstice my theory about blonde people, she asked me about Luna. I told her that Luna is the exception that defines the rule. Without an exception, how could it be a rule?

Also, Luna really has hair that's more of a light brown than blonde.

**May 9, 1994**

Professor McGonagall asked me to come to her office, today. She said that she thinks she figured out why I have so much trouble with Transfiguration. Then she asked me for my wand.

Guess what. It turns out, I burned out my wand's core at some point, and have been doing all of my magic wandlessly, but Transfiguration is more difficult to do without a wand. So, I've been occasionally over-powering my spells and occasionally under-powering them.

Professor McGonagall recommended that I get a new wand over the summer. I hope I have enough money.

**May 17, 1994**

Final Exams are coming up, and I'm terrified!

Alright, I'm going to go through this logically.

Transfiguration – I'm doing much better now, closer to EE than ever before. I _can_ pass.

DADA – I'm doing absolutely marvelously in Defense, this year. Professor Lupin is a fantastic teacher. I hope he can come back next year.

Charms – Charms is my best class! I'm at the top, in Charms.

History of Magic – I should do well, but I wish we would learn something besides goblin rebellions. Something useful, like previous Dark Lords.

Astronomy – I should be able to pass, hopefully. As long as I don't fall asleep.

Potions – I am rather average in Potions, and Solstice has been helping me get even better! I should do fabulously in the Exam.

Herbology – I'm only doing Theory, but I'm fine with the Theory.

See, I will be fine. Now if only I could believe that.

**June 6, 1994**

Exams begin today. Herbology and Potions. I did perfectly well on Herbology Theory, although I think that I mixed up two different types of humanoid plants. Oh, well.

Potions _will be okay_. I have to believe that. Solstice keeps giving me reassuring looks when she thinks I'm not really paying attention.

**June 7, 1994**

I think that I did well in Potions. Tranfiguration and Astronomy today. I actually completed the entire Practical in Transfiguration. Theory, I did perfectly. I've been hammering Transfiguration Theory into my head for_ever_.

I hope I don't fall asleep during the Astronomy Practical tonight.

**June 8, 1994**

I actually managed to stay awake during the Astronomy Practical last night! This morning, we had DADA, and it had to be the _coolest_ Practical that I have ever taken! The Theory was a breeze, and this afternoon is Charms.

One might say that today is my day – DADA and Charms are my best classes!

**June 9, 1994**

I saw the Grim again today!

I think that the Grim must be my lucky charm. Not only was the History of Magic Exam a complete ace, but I managed to stay on my broom for the entire Remedial Flying Exam! I actually managed to pass the Flying class! No more Remedial Flying!

I went to visit Hagrid during lunch break. Buckbeak, the hippogriff, is going to be executed today. I feel horrible that I couldn't help Hagrid at all, but I believe that something will happen. The Hogwarts Wards are humming, and I saw the Grim, which is definitely my lucky charm.

**June 10, 1994**

Buckbeak escaped! I visited Hagrid today, and Buckbeak escaped last night!

Other news – Professor Lupin is leaving. So what that he's a werewolf? He's the best teacher we've ever had, nothing like Lopehead at all! I think that I am rather upset at Professor Snape at the moment. So he doesn't like Professor Lupin. Did he _have_ to tell the whole school that Professor Lupin is a werewolf?

I don't think I ever realized just how spiteful Professor Snape can be. It sort of hurts, to realize that. I wonder if he would have completely ignored my magical allergy to magical plants, if I was a Gryffindor. Not that I'm brave enough to be a Gryffindor anyway.

Other news – Harry was in the Hospital Wing for some reason, last night. Rumor has it that he fought Sirius Black, and saved Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger from Black.

I think that the story is partly fact, and mostly gossip. I wonder what really happened.

**June 17, 1994**

I passed! Oh, Merlin above, I passed everything! I even got an EE in Transfiguration! That's tons better than my Poor from last term!

I got an O in DADA, Charms, and History of Magic. I got EE in Transfiguration, Herbology, and Astronomy. I got an A in Remedial Flying. Okay, so an Acceptable is not quite as good as Exceeds Expectations or Outstanding, but still!

Someone ambushed me and hacked off my hair. I look absolutely horrible.

**June 18, 1994**

Good bye, Hogwarts. Merlin, the year dashed by while I wasn't looking. I'll hide this again, so that nobody gets it. I wouldn't want Robert Jones to take it from me, or Marvella Chittock to steal it.

See you next year!

**End of the school year 1993-1994. Summer of 1994 coming soon.

* * *

**

**AN:** Please, Please, Please: REVIEW! I need to know that this is not a stupid idea; diary style is not my ordinary style of writing! So please review!

**AN2:** I now have a poll up about this story - please, please, I need your input!


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